Learning a new dance can be very daunting, particularly if you are a terrible dancer like me. There are so many unknowns; which dance are we learning, are there cultural customs I need to know, is it evocative like a Latin bolero, assertive like a German slap dance or a barn dance where we are all in it together.
The first part of designing the perfect dance sequence is to assess from the outside the entrance and exit points of the bar. ‘Entrata’ - enter and ‘Uscita’ – exit, are the important signs to take note of, and if misinterpreted could become your right-foot-in at the wrong time and could lead to expletives in Italian by bar staff that are best left unsaid.
Prior to entering via ‘entrata’ you need to have decided if you are drinking at a table, assuming there are any, or at the bar. The cost of your coffee increases significantly if you sit down. Bars are designed predominantly for people to have their coffee standing at the bar; drinking coffee is not a drawn out affair. My recommendation, drink coffee like a local, have it at the bar.
The second step to your dance sequence is knowing where to order. Do not wander over to the barista and ask for your coffee, as this particular dance instructor will directly and frankly point you to the ‘cassa’. All bars have a designated ‘cassa’ – cash register where you order and pay for your coffee, after which you are issued with a receipt that you take to the bar and hand over with your order.
The third step in your dance sequence is understanding which coffee to order. Ordering the wrong coffee at the wrong time could lead to the German Slap dance, not particularly fun coming from an Italian barista. Understand that coffee is very simple, unfussy and thankfully not as complex as we have learnt at home. ‘Un caffe’ which translates as ‘a coffee’ is an espresso. In the morning this is stretched out to a ‘cappuccino’, the equivalent of our flat white, no chocolate sprinkled on top, no fancy latte art and warm milk. This is only ordered in the morning; you will be reprimanded if you order a cappuccino, generally after 11am, and you will likely be refused service. The only other variant is a caffe macchiato, an espresso with a dash of milk, which can be ordered at any time of day. Comprehending these three basics will provide you with an Italian bar dance that is pleasurable and places quality coffee at the centre of your experience.
Entering, ordering, paying, presenting your receipt and receiving your first coffee in Italy is as evocative as the tango which will leave you wanting to chase down again for the rest of your life.
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